The Lamentable Journey of the Beautiful and Unfortunate Samantha Through the Most Fearsome and Foreboding Streets of Stonybrook
Sometimes good things happen to good people. Sometimes bad things happen to bad people. But sometimes, such undeserved, misery-inducing tortures are showered upon the heads of the blameless that one’s pen (or should I say, laptop) balks at the writing.
Such was the case of the most beauteous but most unfortunate Samantha, who was off to the dentist to be drilled and filled.
Samantha’s dentist worked in Stonybrook. Why drive to such a faraway land for such a simple procedure? Well, the sad truth is that Samantha’s former dentist, Dr. Madler, had drawn an animal snout on his surgical mask.
Unable to cope with this terror, Samantha was compelled to flee to the more humane, but more remote, Dr. Fleischman.
“Honey, you are far…. that’s at least a good half hour a way!”
“Yeah, you’re going to make a right and take this road, and it’s going to feel like it goes on forever and that you’re never going to make it back to civilization! But don’t worry, eventually you’ll see people again.”
Samantha slowly trudges out of the store and bursts into tears. She opens the door to her car, only to find a loathsome bumblebee crawling around on her seat. It probably flew in from the open windows.
Samantha sobs harder.
10:50- But our heroine is as brave as she is beautiful. She soon rallies, and turning the car around, she determines to find the elusive Dr. Fleischman or die trying.
10:52- Samantha contemplates naming the bumblebee. Others before her, in the throes of such unbearable mishaps as she now faces, have made pets of such loathsome creatures as mice and rats.
But bumblebees, faugh!
10:53- Samantha decides against naming the bumblebee.
10:55- Suddenly a ringing of Samantha’s cell phone gives her fresh hope. It is the dentist’s noble secretary, calling to find out where she is!
Noble Secretary: Are you coming?
The Beautiful and Unfortunate Samantha: I’m trying. I’m just a little… completely and utterly lost. sobbing
NS: Ok… well, do you think you can make it here by 11:30?
TBAUS: “I hope so… it would help if I knew where I was going.”
NS puts the dentist on to help TBAUS out, and TBAUS starts explaining where she thinks she is.The Elusive and Remote Dr. Fleischman: “Wait, where are you? I can’t even find this on the map!”
TBAUS: Ok, (deep breath) I’m on Rock Hall Road, heading North, I think. I think I went too far East.”TEARDF: “Oh, I found you! Whoa… how on earth did you get way out there?! Why, you’re a good half hour away!”
11:20- Hot and miserable, Samantha finally makes it to the dentist’s office. Worn out, but victorious, our heroine collapses into the chair and opens her mouth.
11:50- The bumblebee dies of heat stroke. Perhaps there is some justice in the world after all.